Adjusting

Kayo: "How is it being back in Okinawa?"

Aaron: "It feels like nothing has changed; but everything has changed!!"


Explanation = ...

It's been a blessing being back on Island. I can remember when I was a student here last year and how it seemed like in everyway the Lord was confirming in my heart that I would be coming back. It seemed like every time a "missions" oriented verse would come up, it would be like once again I'd hear the call that I'd be coming back for a season; that I'd be coming back after Bible College. But what is amazing is that it was only a few weeks after I left that I began to seriously doubt that I would ever be back here. I was so certain of my need to go to school and this and that and whatever; Japan seemed like only a fading dream or some nice thing once upon a time, only to exist in memories. It's amazing how faithful the Lord is despite my doubts; despite all my shameful reservations and stubborn hesitations, He is yet faithful to confirm even that which I may cease to believe!

I would like to continue on this thought before I get back to talking about what it's like being back....

Only days after I left Oki last December, I had reconstructive knee surgery which kept me in bed (kind of) for two weeks. After that it was still another 3 or 4 weeks before I could walk again due to meniscus damage and repair. Over those days I had far too much time alone with my racing thoughts and it wasn't long before I came to this great realization that I really needed to "get realistic" with my life. I began doing all kinds of college searches and contacting places etc., because I was certain that, although I would finish up Bible College, I needed to get serious about going to college and preparing for a career path of some kind. I began to completely dismiss even the idea of going back to Oki, thinking that my motivations and plans and ideas were all childish and selfish. It wasn't until I was back at school in Murrieta before I realized that I had been floundering about spiritually and needed to repent of some things in my life. With school back on track in Murrieta, although it wasn't always in bold print, I began to see once again that the Lord was leading me back to Oki. I was greatly encouraged by Pastor Miles, who I was a T.A. for, when he began to share with me about the way the Lord had worked in his life in past years since Bible College. He told me, "The Lord kind of brought me to a place where He said, 'Alright Miles, what do you want to do?' And so after praying about it, I just went about serving the Lord in ways that were on my heart to serve Him." The simplicity of Pastor Miles' encouragement was confounding, and yet it was exactly the thing I needed to hear. The Lord was desiring me to step out in faith, trusting in His promises and leaving it at that. Simple.
So, now, after many months and consistence in putting the patience of the Lord to the test, here I am, back in Oki, no idea what things are going to be like or how classes are going to go, but just waiting, trusting; seeing what the Lord wants to do. I'm tired of my doubts and have become increasingly irritated with my racing mind, all I want is to trust my Lord as a child trusts his loving father. And so I will. I'm going to wait. I'm going to stop with all this nonsense of questioning deterring obedience. Our God is worthy of so much more. If I should wish to have at all a measure of a sound conscience, I must venture all for Christ: He alone is worthy of all my life...

"So how is it being back in Okinawa?"

ii desu. Totemo ii desu. This is still the same Okinawa. Still the Lord is working each day. Still His servants are here laboring. Still the soil of hearts needs is to be tilled. But, as in the words of some man enlightened to a good degree of understanding by the grace of God, "You can never step in to the same river twice. Either the river has changed or it is you who have changed. You can never step in to the same river twice..." Life is in a flux. : )

It's good to be back. Anyone who reads this, please pray that the Lord would, above all other things, glorify His name through my life. That suffering as well as blessing, would be to the end of bringing honor to the name of Christ; that the Lord might redeem His name on the earth and, in the well prayed words of a good friend, "get salvation for Himself"... God Bless you guys.

-Aaron