"Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.' Then I said: 'Ah, Lord God! Behold, I cannot speak, for I am a youth.' But the Lord said to me: 'Do not say, 'I am a youth' For you shall go to all to whom I send you, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces, for I am with you to deliver you', says the Lord. Then the Lord put forth His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me: 'Behold, I have put My words in your mouth. See, I have this day set you over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out and to pull down, to destory and to throw down, to build and to plant.'"
Jeremiah's life speaks volumes of the faithfulness of God. He was a man who experienced some of the greatest sorrows and yet through it all was able to see far more than most, the very heart of our Sovereign God. Jeremiah is filled with powerful verses, but it is in this first chapter of Jeremiah that I have found words which speak most concisely to my present experiences.
I feel each day the confusion and doubt birthed from a sense of much inadequacy. I have often found myself nervously smirking (for I know not what else to do) about the overwhelming reality of my helplessness and inability to do those things the Lord has set before me. Awkward smiles mingled with a bowed head as I confess to my God His greatness and strive to believe in His faithfulness. It is a hard thing in this life to surrender one's whole self to God: our minds, our emotions; our will. With all this, I am realizing more and more the hidden spring of joy that resides within such submission, such trust. There is to be no doubt of my inadequacy before God. I can say and mean with Jeremiah, "I cannot speak". Oh Lord, God of all power, who am I to stand before you or to call upon your name? Who am I to speak your holy words, and how can it be that such a Holy God should pour that which is most holy into such a rebellious and sinful vessel!? There can be, as must once more be stated, no doubt of my inadequacy. But does the story end there? Does the Lord leave us to ourselves to wallow in our sin and ever fall before Him in complete failure? Glory be to God and all the saints can give a resounding "Hallelujah!", for that blessed answer of sovereign grace, "No". No, He has not left us to our pigsty of depravity but has given us such a living and dynamic hope. We who are totally unworthy to bless His name, for us He has laid upon His Son the Holy wrath we deserved that He might redeem us to Himself to the glory of His grace. With this, there is such a open sea of blessings, not withstanding that blessing that God should choose to speak through men and women to feed those which are His sheep. Not that our sufficiency is of ourselves, but it is of God, who has called and equipped and commissioned. All glory be to my God, who straightens the paths of His weary sojourners and mends the wounds of His broken hearted. He is abundantly able to save, and abundantly pours out His grace to the humble. And so I am able, by His Holy Spirit which has been so poured out, to do that which He has called me to do. All glory be to God, the lifter of my soul; my ready strength in time of need.
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